Does something stink in here?
Yes, there's certainly a stench, and it's these 10 films that made us want to cough up our nachos just for an excuse to leave the theater.
Matt's bottom 10 movies of 2007
Stay far, far away from these unbelievable wastes of time
By Matt Pais, Metromix
December 14, 20071. "Daddy Day Camp"
If a movie isn't any good in the first place, will it get better by churning out a shockingly awful sequel four years later? Starring Cuba Gooding Jr.? The answer apparently wasn't clear to the makers of "Daddy Day Camp," the year's worst movie and 90 minutes of laugh-free torture suggested for neither kids nor adults nor anyone who's been to camp, heard of camp or knows someone who has heard of camp. The fact that Fred Savage (of "The Wonder Years" fame) directed this travesty about Charlie's (Gooding Jr.) attempt to restore his failing childhood camp is only one of many reasons that watching it hurts so badly.
2. "Death at a Funeral"
The possibility of humor dies a long, slow death in "Death at a Funeral," a comedy that doesn't bother with any intelligent jokes when a lazy one will do. It's the story of two brothers who discover at their father's funeral that their dad was having a secret gay affair with a little person (Peter Dinklage), and at no point do the men ever accept their father's hidden lifestyle. Instead, one relative accidentally takes drugs, another just has to poop, and "Death at a Funeral" makes you slightly envious of the body in the coffin.
3. "Saw IV"
Jigsaw isn't even trying anymore. Once a kind-of creepy villain who used elaborate traps to teach people about morality, the "Saw" demon now lacks inspiration in his devices and punishes people whose greatest crime is being too committed to their job or marrying a bad person. The convoluted reliance on Jigsaw's tape-recorded instructions is just one laughable element that pulls any fear out of "Saw IV," the worst installment of a franchise that has gone from mediocre to bad to awful to worthless. If put in a contraption that gave me the option of losing a finger or enduring more "Saw" movies to come, I'd have to think about it.
4. "Who's Your Caddy?"
If you can't believe that black people would ever play golf, or that blacks and whites could ever do anything together, then you may find "Who's Your Caddy?" witty and hilarious. You may also need tolerance training. This atrocious comedy stars Antwan "Big Boi" Patton of Outkast as an obnoxious rapper trying to score a membership at an old-fashioned country club and is about as racially enlightened as Michael Richards.
5. "Norbit"
Anyone looking to get riled up—we won't ask why—should just pop in "Norbit," a movie so obnoxious, annoying and offensive that watching it is like being punched in the face for two hours. Eddie Murphy plays geeky Norbit, his massively overweight and even more grossly irritating wife Rasputia, and Norbit's Chinese surrogate father, Mr. Wong. "Norbit" has so much racism and obliviousness to its own stupidity that the Wayans Brothers probably gave it a standing ovation.
6. "The Condemned"
Here's a lovely idea: Let's rip off Arnold Schwarzenegger's "The Running Man," cast Steve Austin as a meat-headed convict forced to fight for his life on the Internet, objectify women for maximum jiggle-effect, and then act as if the movie is teaching us about the voyeuristic temptation of modern media. Here's a better idea: Do not watch "The Condemned."
7. "Cashback"
Icky, icky, icky. Sean Biggerstaff stars as Ben, an insomniac who distracts himself from a recent breakup by taking a job at a grocery store and fantasizing about freezing all the women in the store and taking off their clothes. "Cashback" seems to think it's being artsy and philosophical in its attempted appreciation of the female form, but Ben's major staring problem and superficial view of women makes him creepy, not sincere. You can get an equally tasteful look at the female body by watching old episodes of "The Man Show."
8. "Captivity"
Some people out there may be entertained simply by seeing a pretty girl like Elisha Cuthbert punished and force-fed a blood-and-body-parts smoothie. We are not those people, and "Captivity" is nothing more than a vile excuse to drug an innocent gal and fade to black 39 times. She does get to enjoy a ridiculously timed sex scene, though. (Seriously, even if you're kidnapped with someone attractive, do you really have the focus needed to get busy?) And we got to enjoy a ridiculous typo in the marketing materials that claimed the movie was rated R for "grizzly images." Sadly, the movie just has a lot of grisly images and no bears whatsoever.
9. "Rush Hour 3"
Chris Tucker is officially the world's savviest businessman: How he built a mega-bucks career based on one terrible franchise is beyond comprehension. "Rush Hour 3" finds Tucker at his most repetitively crass, playing Detective Carter as a full-fledged bigot who doesn't seem to care, and neither does director Brett Ratner or slumming co-star Jackie Chan, who admitted he took the sequels only for the money. The anti-French comments make Americans look pretty bad—but no worse than you do if you pay to sit through this garbage.
10. "Georgia Rule"
Raise your hand if you think jokes about sexual abuse are funny. Didn't think so. Destined to be remembered only as the movie that Lindsay Lohan filmed during the start of her personal and professional free-fall, "Georgia Rule" has all the makings of a painful drama about incest. Too bad director Garry Marshall chose to pretend that the whole thing is a comedy, drawing awful performances from Lohan, Felicity Huffman and Jane Fonda and some of the most uncomfortable moments of the year.
Dishonorable mention: "The Final Season," "Wild Hogs," "Across the Universe," "Shoot 'Em Up," "Self-Medicated," "Mr. Bean's Holiday," "Because I Said So," "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry," "Gray Matters," "The Hitcher."
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Geoff's top 10
See what Metromix movie critic Geoff Berkshire selected as the best of 2007.
Matt's top 10
See what Metromix movie critic Matt Pais selected as the best of 2007.
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Geoff's bottom 10
See what Metromix movie critic Geoff Berkshire selected as the worst of 2007.
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