'Underworld: Rise of the Lycans' review

Michael Sheen (Credit: Ken George/Sony)

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Things are hot and heavy between slinky vampire Sonja (Rhona Mitra) and lycan leader Lucian (Michael Sheen of “Frost/Nixon”), who’s part man, part werewolf. Too bad Sonja’s father, vampire head honcho Viktor (an increasingly campy Bill Nighy), disapproves of interspecies nookie and is determined to fuel a feud that results in buckets of blood and a whole lot of screaming.

The buzz: This Kate Beckinsale-free prequel to 2003’s awful “Underworld” and 2006’s slightly less awful “Underworld: Evolution” seems far from necessary, considering those horror flicks previously spent way too much time explaining the whole convoluted history between vampires and lycans. The upside is that “Lycans” is the shortest film of the humorless and bafflingly popular series, which is notable only for its blue-and-black color scheme best described as “bruise-inspired” and an odd affinity for tearing heads in half.

The verdict: Once again, more like “Underwhelmed.” This is either an inaccessible starting point for newbies or a pointless rehash for fans, with no sense of purpose and a star-crossed saga that’s no more passionate than “Twilight.” “Lycans,” which is still too chatty for a monster movie, only approaches gruesome fun during attacks by werewolves so ugly you can’t blame them for emerging only in the shadows and the woods.

Did you know? Lucian receives 30 excruciatingly painful lashes just for removing the collar that prevents him from turning into a werewolf. That’s a bit harsh, but you decide if some more humane penalty can be enforced to put an end to collar-popping.

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