'The Longshots' review

Ice Cube and Keke Palmer in "The Longshots"

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Shy, friendless pre-teen Jasmine (Keke Palmer of "Madea's Family Reunion," "Akeelah and the Bee") needs an after-school activity now that her single mom's picked up longer hours at the diner in down-and-out, blue-collar Minden, Ill. But Jasmine's unemployed uncle, Curtis (Ice Cube), just might find redemption for both of them when he discovers his niece has a decent throwing arm and convinces the middle school coach to let her on the team. Based on a true story.

Big question: Can director/former Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst, who apparently is no longer doing it all for the nookie, help "The Longshots" achieve something that hasn't already been achieved by 3,000 other sports movies?

Skip it: Don't blame Durst; Martin Scorsese couldn't make this coal shine. From the popular girls that pick on Jasmine to the developments that land Curtis a coaching gig to the deadbeat dad who shows up after his daughter's on TV, "The Longshots" bends over backwards to follow every play in the book. One ounce of conflict or on-field exhilaration might perk things up, but Durst avoids tension like it's a stalker who snuck onto a music video set.

Catch it: To see Curtis train Jasmine by having her throw to receivers that are actually photos of Beyonce, Foxy Brown and Tyra Banks. It's a popular technique that NFL teams call, "Not getting anything done at practice."

Bottom line: Seeing "The Longshots" for the same feelgood you probably already own on DVD is like going out to buy cough medicine even though you've already got three bottles in the cabinet. While Palmer's spirit helps ground an awfully familiar character, you'll cringe as she gazes at a jockstrap in disgust or participates in a show-off-your-touchdown-dance montage to the tune of "Whoomp! There It Is."

Bonus: Curtis insists that if you're good at something, you owe it to yourself to pursue it. Now's as good a time as any to quit your job and commit your life to miniature golf.

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