P2

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On Christmas Eve, workaholic Angela (Rachel Nichols) is trapped in her office's garage by Thomas (Wes Bentley of "American Beauty"), a psychotic security guard who says he's in love with her and "just wants to help." (Actually, he's so intent on blaming others for ruining Christmas it seems like someone has a guilty conscience about eating Santa's cookies.)

Big question: Can this thriller generate some claustrophobic scares out of a worst-case scenario, or will it become as funny as the "Seinfeld" episode about being lost in a garage?

Skip it: Bentley plays Thomas like he's semi-sane, which at first makes him creepy but then just hilariously delusional about the perceived innocence of his actions. With obvious music cues meant to indicate danger and a heroine with more cleavage than personality, "P2" is a gratuitously gory and transparent excuse to put a pretty girl in trouble--and it doesn't look like the movie was any more fun to film than it is to watch.

Catch it: If you think muttering, "You gotta be kidding me," will get your sputtering car to start or locked doors to open magically. Angela agrees!

Bottom line: "P2" would be no more absurd as a movie about a vending machine button or a confused bingo dealer. Instead, it's just a quickly forgotten and rather extreme reminder to tip security guards around the holidays.

Bonus: Angela proves that if you want to turn off a TV with gusto, an axe works much better than a remote. Though this writers' guild strike is wiping out television all on its own!

mpais@tribune.com

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