'Bangkok Dangerous' review

Nicolas Cage in "Bangkok Dangerous" (Credit: Lionsgate)

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Joe (Nicolas Cage), an assassin in Bangkok for his “last job” takes young thief Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm) under his wing for no decipherable reason. Fortunately the killings aren’t that urgent, apparently, allowing Joe time to fall for a deaf-mute pharmacist.

Big question: Can this remake of the 1999 Hong Kong action film do anything to turn around Cage’s increasingly embarrassing career (“National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” “Ghost Rider,” “Next,” “The Wicker Man”)?

Skip it: Sporting a Tom-Hanks-in-“Da Vinci Code” hairstyle and showcasing his preferred acting style of “drowsy,” Cage doesn’t seem tough or cool enough to be a shoe salesman much less a hitman. While the movie doesn’t glamorize murder like “Wanted,” “Bangkok” doesn’t exactly mind it either. Hey, if the guy deserves it!

Catch it: If you’re jealous that Joe and Kong get to use watermelons for target practice. The best assassins prefer their victims juicy and seedless.

Bottom line: There’s some decent local scenery, but minimal, muddy-looking action means “Bangkok” might be the dreariest Cage flick since “The Weather Man.” “Book of Secrets” and “The Wicker Man” don’t make any sense, but at least they’re not boring.

Bonus: Joe’s job has four rules: Don’t ask questions; Have no interest in anyone outside work; Erase every trace; Know when to get out. If your employer asks that you abide by the same code, time to send out that resume.