'Babylon A.D.' review

Vin Diesel in "Babylon A.D." (Credit: Guy Ferrandis/20th Century Fox)

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In a bleak future of advancing technology and contracting borders, mercenary Toorop (Vin Diesel) accepts a dangerous assignment to escort a young woman (Mélanie Thierry) and her guardian (Michelle Yeoh) from Russia to New York.

Big question: When a movie is trashed by its own director what hope does it have with critics or audiences?

Skip it: It’s no surprise that the movie is bad and offers nothing of value to paying customers, but director Mathieu Kassovitz’s complaints of unfair studio interference might earn more sympathy if he wasn’t also responsible for the equally inane Halle Berry thriller “Gothika.” And if he hadn’t signed on to a movie with Diesel, whose leading man stature remains utterly baffling, as the star.

Catch it: To ponder why a classy, appealing asskicker like Yeoh can’t find a movie worthy of her talents.

Bottom line: No matter who’s really to blame, it’s easy to understand why Kassovitz would want to distance himself from what’s on screen. A few sleek visuals and nifty sci-fi concepts are lost among senseless action, a poorly shaped narrative and an abundance of clichés that make the movie come off like an amped-up and dumbed-down imitation of “Children of Men”—one that’s simultaneously more expensive, yet better suited for the bargain DVD bin.

Bonus: Toorop offers this piece of advice early on: “You need two things to survive in this business: your balls and your word.” Apparently that might also be true if you’re making a movie with 20th Century Fox.

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