'2012' review

John Cusack (Credit: Joe Lederer/Columbia Tristar)

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Fast-Paised review: '2012'

Metromix reviews the occasionally exciting but long, dull...

The Mayans called it: It's 2012, and the world is really ending. So as buildings tumble, oceans flood and people fall into the earth, what failed novelist Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) really wants is to reconnect with his wife (Amanda Peet) and kids.

The buzz: I hated writer-director Roland Emmerich's last logic annihilator, "10,000 B.C.," yet I'm oddly excited for the wild spectacle of "2012." Perhaps the filmmaker's latest—which runs a hefty 158 minutes but at least boasts a good cast, including Chiwetel Ejiofor as the head geologist and Danny Glover as the U.S. president—will combine crazy special effects with a premise that (cough) isn't a complete joke otherwise.

The verdict: Hasn't Emmerich ("The Day After Tomorrow," "Independence Day") made this movie several times? Same laughable dialogue. Same hokey family crises. Same outrageous heroism, including a character holding his breath for what seems like forever and a car that drives faster than the earth can disintegrate. (There's also wink-wink action like a grocery store splitting in half moments after someone inside says, "I feel like there's something pulling us apart.") Aside from a couple solid action sequences, this bloated epic is exhausting instead of exciting and sentimental but not sad. The technology's new and improved, but nothing else is.

Did you know? Even in a time of crisis, a political advisor (Oliver Platt) still takes the time to note that the president's daughter (Thandie Newton) is attractive. Ladies, gentlemen: Debate those priorities.

Video: Watch Matt's review of '2012'

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