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In all my experience interviewing farm animals ... OK, you got me. My publicist-facilitated e-mail interview with Goat--who appears in the war comedy "The Men Who Stare At Goats," starring George Clooney and adapted from the book by Jon Ronson about American soldiers with special powers, potentially including the ability to kill goats with their eyes--is my first professional encounter with a member of another species. I'm very comfortable talking with movie stars, but as with any first-time opportunity, I was nervous.
What, you don't think a goat really typed the answers to my questions? Then how do you explain all of his logical responses (and me needing to add in some proper punctuation)? Read on and you'll see my point.
Please apologize for the curse on the Cubs.
Sorry, I've always been more of a Sox fan. Come on. Sox are incredibly tasty.
How nervous were you to work with George Clooney in "The Men Who Stare At Goats"?
I am a professional. So, regardless of who's in a scene with me I know I am going to bring it every time. Whether it's Clooney or Lassie, I will deliver.
Who's another animal actor you do or don't want to work with?
Listen, I don't want to really get into it. But Mike Tyson's Tiger knows what he did. Let's move on.
What's something people don't understand about the principles of goat acting?
Most people don't see the layers, the nuance, the small things that add up to really big performances. Eye and tongue control is a real roadblock for some inexperienced goat actors. I fortunately don't have that problem.
What is the difference between normal staring and flirting with the eyes?
It's all about intention, right? I am not a goat who just looks out into space for no reason. That's never been me. I could breakdown every glance I shoot in this movie and know the meaning behind it. That's what great actors do.
Is it possible for a person to kill a goat by staring at it? If so, how can we do it?
I think the real question you should be asking is, 'Does the staring work in reverse?' Consider this before your next casual visit to a petting zoo.
What kind of food were you served on the set? Gourmet buffet or tin cans?
The kind of food I am most interested in is the kind that feeds my talent. New experiences, method, travel, fame ... it's all delicious. But hey, a tin can every now and then works too.
In what situation would it be acceptable for you to eat goat cheese?
I try not to judge, but it's just not my bag.
How do you feel about G.O.A.T. being used as an acronym for Greatest of All Time? Are you the G.O.A.T. goat?
Yeah, a buddy of mine got branded with B.O.A.T thinking the saying was Best of All Time. What a fool! Hey, Steve, that thing is not coming off man! G.O.A.T. makes much more sense, as no doubt it's true.
Do you have any tattoos/brands? If you got one, what would it say?
My manager will kill me for answering this. But yeah I was young and foolish and I though their music was so powerful and it spoke to me. So I have ACE OF BASE on my back left leg. I do regret it now. But bottom line, "The Sign" is still a solid EP.
What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Got any turkey friends who are nervous?
Thanksgiving was always such a strange time on the farm. There was some sleeping with one eye open. You learn the hard way not to get close to certain species. But I live in L.A. now, so I'll probably just graze with my friends. Every day really is a holiday for me at this point in my career.
Have you spent any time in Chicago? What are your favorite spots?
I love Chicago. Great food and people. And of course home to another Greatest of All time, Michael Jordan. I've always related with him. He understands a lot of what I go through.
Why does he understand what you go through? Who would win in a game of 1-on-1?
He was clearly the best at the game he played, and no other Goat actor comes close to my skills. He would probably take it to me on the court, but could he steal a scene from George Clooney?
